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5 Shit Things About Australia
Why I don’t live in Australia
The Lucky Country, Great Southern Land, Down Under or, simply, Oz. People love Australia. They want to visit it to cuddle a koala. They want to migrate to it.
I’m lucky to be Australian but, for now, I choose not to live there despite missing my family and friends like the air that I breathe.
However, there are plenty of other things I miss about Australia like a punch in the boobs. Besides, koalas are not cuddly. They’re scratchy and riddled with chlamydia.
These are some of those things.
1. Urban sprawl
Some of my best friends live in the ‘burbs. But they’re not the place for me.
Australian suburbs go on and on and on forever. The only thing stopping them are oceans and sometimes mountains.
It seems like every Australian, whether they arrived five minutes ago or with the convicts, aspires to a house in the ‘burbs where they can stash their wife, kids and dog. God forbid anyone live in an apartment or small house like they do in Europe or Asia.
Australia’s outer suburbs are the worst. Infrastructure can’t keep up with housing development, so people find themselves living in ‘hoods without public transport, parks, schools, shops…
