Got No Friends and Your Wedding’s Coming Up?

Never fear, you can rent a bridesmaid

Nichola Scurry

--

Surreal street art of a woman wearing a blue hat.
A professional bridesmaid can add the glamour to your wedding that your real friends lack. Photo by me.

You have the social skills to meet someone who wants to marry you but not to make friends worthy of joining your bridal party. Or maybe you had a huge fight with your best friend. Or maybe she died. Not to worry, you can hire a professional bridesmaid.

Or groomsman, or maid of honour, or mother of the bride, or person who makes great speeches about you.

Professional bridesmaids are a legit and well-paid profession. At first, I thought it was a joke but no, it’s a serious service offered to couples looking for a little extra help on their special day.

Bridesmaids for hire do a better job than your real friends. They’re professionals, after all. No fights, so sulking about the dress, no getting wasted and shagging your brother-in-law. Plus, they’ll work with you to invent a nice little backstory about how you met and why no one knows them.

There are plenty of scenarios where a couple might need to hire a bridesmaid or some other member of the bridal party. You might be one of those couples who are so enmeshed you have no friends. We all know couples like that. Well, maybe we don’t know them because they don’t know many people. But they exist.

--

--

Nichola Scurry

Australian human living in Barcelona, writing mostly about popular culture with a twist of quirky. If you like my writing, I like coffee. ko-fi.com/nicscurry